#PalCrushMonday: Ben Kassoy
I just published a chapbook of poems…no fewer than TWO of which are about Mal!
Hello!
I’m Ben Kassoy, Mal’s older brother. I’ve known her since just moments after she was born, on Thanksgiving Day 1994, when five-year-old me briefly welcomed her into the world and then proceeded to eat my mom’s entire turkey dinner at the hospital. I’ve long considered Mal a sister and today, I finally see her as a #Pal.
Let’s get into it!
The format:
What I’m crushing (accomplishing, achieving, attaining, fulfilling, something that I am being successful at.)
What is crushing me (see definition 3b, something that is bringing me down.)
What I’m crushing on (admiring, adoring, appreciating, cherishing, favoriting, etc.)
What I’m crushing
I published a poetry chapbook! It’s called The Funny Thing About A Panic Attack!
Here are some very generous things some very talented people are saying about it:
“A joy to read and feels incredibly alive. The poems have a gorgeous momentum…a singular voice.” – Andrés Cerpa, author of The Vault
“Fabulous – vivid and breezy and urgent and tragic all at once.” – Abeer Hoque, author of Olive Witch
“Hilarious. A ‘double double’ of delights.” – Rosebud Ben-Oni, author of If This Is The Age We End Discovery
Aaaaand here’s a little description of what it’s about:
Brimming with humor, heart, and defiant wonder in the face of depression, anxiety, and grief, these poems explore how one man unleashes the transcendent power of imagination and love to create a life that’s bigger, fuller, and more possible – and how all of us can, too.
I worked super hard on this, and loved the chance to be vulnerable and strong and fragile and playful and joyful on the page – and now with you. If your interests include reading and/or laughing and/or mental health and/or donuts and/or people with the name Kassoy, grab yourself a copy! (P.S. No fewer than TWO poems in the chapbook are all about Mal.)
What’s crushing me
As a people pleaser, a peacekeeper, and a painfully non-confrontational person (all of this with its pros and cons), I do not respond well to conflict, and right now I’m in the midst of two. A couple of my best friends are experiencing a major fallout, and I also find myself in an uncomfortable, difficult situation with a long-time friend.
It’s difficult to balance kindness with candor, and to hold my own feelings of hurt or disappointment while also giving grace and patience and love to others. Tension is tough for me, along with the anxiety fueled by its uncertainty. I’m just trying to have faith that acting and speaking from a place of love and compassion, and with the intent to grow, build, and heal will create positive outcomes, even if the journey there feels arduous.
What I’m crushing on
Ok, I know it’s a little meta and a little on the nose, but from where I sit, EVERY day is #MalCrushMonday (except Friday, which is Shabbat).
I’m the big brother, but Mal has taught me and inspired me so much. Mal got a nose ring, then I got a nose ring. Mal started a Substack, then I started a Substack. In fact, MAL was the one who got me into poetry in the first place: Years ago, she recommended Beauty Was The Case That They Gave Me by Mark Leidner; that began my poetry journey and the rest is history.
Mal is deeply talented, smart, funny, and kind. Her vulnerability and eloquence in these newsletters; the way she lights up onstage – and lights up a stage!; the way she approaches her relationships with love and empathy and humor: it’s nothing short of beautiful and inspiring. Thank you, Mal, for making me a better person and for the chance to share that here. I love you.
Ok! Last little bit of self-promotional mishegoss: As I mentioned, I have a Substack, “A Strawberry Spinning Like A Dreidel,” where I share poetry, social change, and miscellaneous delights. I’m also on Instagram (@bkassoy) if you want to keep up with my writing and general shenanigans.
Much thanks and much love!
Ben
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THIS IS SO CUTE!! So excited to read more of Ben’s writing abt Mal when my copy of The Funny Thing About a Panic Attack comes in 🥰
I so loved reading this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!