#PalCrushMonday: Gabrielle James
In my #HobbyEra
I am DELIGHTED to be writing the Pal Crush Monday! I’ve been thinking about what I would write if I had my own newsletter since I got the first Mal Crush. When she stayed with me in NYC a few weeks ago, I couldn’t help but blurt out, “Can I write a Pal Crush!?” approximately 0.2 seconds after she walked into my apartment. And here we are - now I'm overthinking what to write, but I'll give it my best shot!
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Gab! I grew up on the Jersey Shore (left with no tan, but an unhealthy obsession with Bruce Springsteen), went to UMass with our pal Mal, and now live in Brooklyn! Mal and I were on sister comedy troupes - she did improv and I did sketch and we laughed at each other’s jokes. While I didn’t leave UMass with a thriving career in comedy, I did leave with an epic friend group (shout-out Parkluck) and the best husband ever (hi Jonny!).
As they say on Jeopardy, “BRING IT!”
The format:
What I’m crushing (accomplishing, achieving, attaining, fulfilling, something that I am being successful at.)
What is crushing me (see definition 3b, something that is bringing me down.)
What I’m crushing on (admiring, adoring, appreciating, cherishing, favoriting, etc.)
What I’m crushing
Work/Life Balance: More specifically, having a healthy mindset when it comes to work. I’ve been having a lot of conversations recently with people about passions, and what drives us, and our relationships with work, and I have to say I’m pretty proud of where I’m at. I don’t love my job…. and I think that’s a good thing for me right now? I’ve been working as a tech consultant for 7 years and it is definitely not a “dream job”. But I’ve found that because I don’t care about my 9-5, it makes it so much easier for me to unplug 5-9. Which gives me so much time and energy to focus on the part of my life that I actually own! So, I’ve become a girl who loves her hobbies and am finding a lot of joy in it! I’m working on defining myself by the things I love doing.
Hobbies: Ever since I’ve made this perspective shift, my hobbies have flourished! I’ve been taking a yoga class almost every day, I’ve been reading more than ever, and I’ve picked up the piano again after a 15-year hiatus. When I sit down and (try to) meditate on what’s going well, I always reflect on how proud I am that I’m making space to enjoy the things that make me happiest.
What’s crushing me
Piano is hard (...especially when I try to jump right into playing Jungleland instead of relearning scales and chords first). Also, starting a new hobby is hard especially when you’re already ‘advanced’ in your other hobbies. I’m finding it difficult to devote time to practicing something I’m not good at (yet) when I could be doing the things I already love and do with ease.
Another thing that’s been crushing me lately is my relationship with time. I tend to be an overplanner and over-scheduler with too many goals, so I’ve been noticing that I feel guilty when I’m doing nothing, like having a day where the only thing I do is watch The Circle on Netflix. Sometimes I can’t help my brain from thinking: “there’s not enough time to do everything I want to do, so I might as well just sit here and doom scroll”.
One of my New Year’s resolutions was to start volunteering for a cause I genuinely care about. Recently, funding for the Brooklyn Public Library was slashed, leaving them in dire need of help. As someone who reads ~50 books a year via Libby (best app ever!), I rely heavily on the library's services and wanted to give back. So I applied to volunteer! But when I arrived for my “interview,” I was met with a line of hundreds of other eager volunteers snaking around the block. After an hour of standing in line without moving an inch, I felt myself getting more and more frustrated. Here we all were, ready to help, yet the library couldn’t even manage the volunteer influx. They were drowning in need but couldn’t coordinate the help we offered. Eventually, I, along with many others, gave up and left. This experience really crushed me.
What I’m crushing on
Sharing locations with friends! I’ve recently gotten weirdly (creepily?) into the Find My Friends app and so far it has only led to amazing things! Shout out to Emma P whom I’ve had dozens of impromptu hang outs with just because one of us has noticed that our ‘dots’ are close by. I love that this little app has helped us grow our friendship into something so special.
Seriously crushing on some good books! Here’s the ones I recommend the most: The Hearts Invisible Furies, Station Eleven, If We Were Villains, Pachinko, The Things We Cannot Say, Clytemnestra, The Women, and Chain Gang All Stars
‘Buy Nothing’ Facebook Groups - my new apartment decor is mostly funded by my neighbors trash
Building a community: This is something that has been happening naturally since I’ve been prioritizing taking classes every day at the 2 yoga studios I go to and because of it I’ll probably never leave Brooklyn. I’ve been living in Brooklyn since 2016 and it took until now to feel like I’m a member of the community. Walking into a class and knowing half of the other student’s names is so special. It’s made going to a yoga class more than just a solitary practice and more of a social support circle.
Thanks for reading! And thank you Mal for this opportunity! This was a really cool exercise - I don’t often take time to reflect. Maybe now I’ll pick up journaling. After all, I am in my #HobbyEra.
If you’re in Brooklyn, come take my yoga class at Shambhala Yoga and Dance every Monday at 6pm - I love seeing friends (both old and new!) in the class. You can also find me on Goodreads at www.goodreads.com/gabcookie or on insta @gab_cookie.